The Mommy Blog, Pinterest, and Vodka.

I’ve been obsessed with mommy-blogs lately, in all of their Pinterest loving, child rearing glory.

The perfectly staged photos, crafting supply rooms, weekend trips up-state and live posts from the driver’s side of their white SUVs.  Guh.  I live for it.  I tried to explain why I’m so enamored with these trope-y, ultra American women to my best friend  –  who shares my love of Honey Boo Boo, TLC, and all things voyeurism  –  but I don’t think I was able to adequately put it into words.

In a round-a-bout way, these mommy-blogs are what inspired me to create my own website.  Initially I had fantasies of well-lit photographs featuring white chocolate covered pretzels and armless chairs covered in chevron.  Then I cracked open the vodka and came to my senses.

Yesterday I spent five dollars on Crystal Lite margarita mix at Safeway because it only had three calories per pitcher, and last week I spent four days sitting on my ass at the cabin because I could.  My last relationship co-starred the King of the men’s psycho division, which only recently led me to cut down on my chain-smoking, and I swear too much.  How far am I going to get with a box of adorably antiqued cookie tins and children’s safety scissors when I can hardly get through a sentence without ending it in “fuck”?

I refer to Britney by her first name only, and once I was logged into XBOX Live for nineteen continuous hours because I was too busy growing cartoon pinatas to feed or bathe myself.  And that’s my life.  I don’t have room for bible verses and birthday party favors  –  why would I write a blog about it?

So I’m going to write what I know.  And maybe one day you’ll see me planning out my wedding on Pinterest, but for now  –  I’m drinking vodka and warm margarita mix on my couch.  And that’s just something we’re both going to have to deal with.